We would like to take a moment to remember Joan Cooke, whose life and experiences were central to her husband Joe’s involvement in the Collaborate Essex Disability & Carers Forum. Through Joe’s love and care for Joan, he has always been able to share lived experience and help others to understand what it is like to be a carer and, on Joan’s behalf, also what it is like to be cared-for.
Joan was a familiar and warmly welcomed presence, with her often joining our video calls, phone calls and also featuring in our Healthwatch Essex podcast and on our TikTok channel. It was always a pleasure to visit Joe and Joan, and forum members and Healthwatch Essex colleagues will remember her fondly. Joan’s presence meant a great deal to the forum, and she has made a lasting impact on us here at Healthwatch Essex.
Joan first captured Joe’s heart at a school dance when she was just 15, dressed as a Welsh girl, while he, one year older, Head Boy and proudly wearing his Air Cadets uniform, could hardly take his eyes off the quietly competent, beautiful young woman before him. From that evening on, apart from a brief few months when he left school, they were together for 64 remarkable years, celebrating their 57th wedding anniversary last September. Though naturally quieter than some, Joan loved to dance and enjoy life, and she carried that spirit into adulthood, holidaying in Spain, the French Riviera and Italy, even climbing the Leaning Tower. She embraced wheelchair tennis weekends, training with Paralympic gold medallists, and together they experienced the joy of the 2012 Paralympic Games. Joan stood proudly beside Joe throughout his years as a local councillor, sharing in special moments such as a Buckingham Palace Garden Party and meeting the Royals. In later years, as her disability progressed and Alzheimer’s took hold, Joe became her devoted 24/7 carer, and their bond only deepened so much so that friends, family and her dedicated carers will always remember her familiar call, “Joe, are you coming in?” While many witnessed the decline of her final years, those who truly knew Joan saw a lifetime of love, resilience and strength that never faded.
Joe and his family received remarkable support from Community Care Services via Adult Social Care (ASC) with a regular team of daily carers who helped with Joan’s increasing care needs as her Alzheimer’s and physical disabilities progressed. As Joan’s needs increased, their care helped ensure she could remain in the comfort of her own home, surrounded by the people and memories she loved most. They became far more than professionals providing assistance, they were a constant source of kindness, supporting both Joan and Joe through the challenges of her illness. Their presence brought comfort every day but also at the end of Joan’s journey, helping to ensure she experienced a peaceful passing. At Joan’s funeral, three of Joan’s daily carers attended in person, and other carers who could not attend sent heartfelt tribute messages by text, sharing their memories and appreciation of Joan.
On the 30th January 2026, Joe attended our Collaborate Essex Disability & Carers Forum, where at the end he presented to us a poem he wrote to his wife Joan, sharing with us what she meant to him. The team were so moved by the poem he created, inspiring us to share the poem in this blog. So this poem is called ‘My Joanie’ written by Joe Cooke for the love of his life. Read Joe’s poem below:
My Joanie
I’ve lost my lovely Joanie
I miss her. Oh so much,
My love. My life.
My beautiful wife
To hug and kiss and touch.
She radiated happiness.
Was always there for me.
Was always there for all of us.
Now she’s gone.
Did it have to be?
Memories are so precious
I’ll never let them fade.
We’ll always have her in our hearts
The life with us she made.
Time to let her rest now
Time to let her go
The time will come for all of us
Though we seldom think it’s so.
But let’s not dwell on endings
Just because loss grieves so much
Each day’s a new beginning
We must choose to make it such.
Some seek to know their future
But we shape our destiny
And Life’s a Journey to enjoy
The future? Let it be.
Joe Cooke
17 Jan 2026