In this blog our Trauma Ambassador Mary introduces herself and shares her experiences that led her to joining the Trauma Ambassador Group.
“Hello, my name is Mary. I am a nurse, wife, daughter, sister, biological and non-biological auntie, friend, colleague, and I am a rape survivor.
I know that word can be triggering and difficult to read and unjustly so, it has taken some intensive therapy to get to a point where I am no longer ashamed of the word and it’s still a struggle even now.
I have been a Trauma Ambassador for around two years now but have only recently started going to meetings when I can. In the last four years I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, Autism and ADHD so it has been interesting to say the least, but I have learned a lot about myself as well as re-discovering who I am. Becoming a Trauma Ambassador felt like taking a step to advocate for myself after a very low period, I got back to working and making positive steps in my life so I felt this was another step to not only look after myself but to help others as well. It is an amazing and supportive group, and I am very grateful to be involved and have their support😊
Just over four years ago my life took a significant and unplanned detour. When something traumatic happens, it is not just dealing with the event itself because everything changes – your ability to work, ability to function, your relationships and your entire world view. I had so much anger and shame and I felt so desperately alone but equally shut myself away because how do you explain that due to someone else’s actions you can’t even get up to brush your teeth anymore?
Luckily, I am in the very privileged position to have had early intervention from SERRIC (the most incredible women) followed by high intensity therapy then EMDR, which grew my confidence and helped me be able to talk about it more and be able get support from those closest to me. Whilst EMDR is the hardest thing I have ever done, it has changed my life in unbelievable ways and is why I am able to write this and be doing the work I am today.
I now work in an amazing team to provide support to those who experience health inequalities and as part of this, there is opportunity to apply for funding to create new initiatives and services. As you can imagine, I have a passion for those who have experienced trauma to be supported in all aspects of their life and one area I am able to create an impact is in relation to their health.
For survivors, health screening comes with an added layer of anxiety. It can be re-traumatising, cause flashbacks, physical reactions and feel like you have taken multiple steps backwards in your progress – and that’s if you can even face the appointment. Unfortunately, it took having my own experiences to make me aware of this huge barrier which in my head meant either days to weeks of recovery, or complete avoidance and therefore risking my health. This led me to doing some research and finding the “My Body Back” project which provides trauma-informed cervical screening to survivors, the sad part was that there are only two clinics in the UK and it’s no surprise that the waiting list was and is very long.
Now one thing about me, I am stubborn and have a strong sense of justice. I felt strongly that two clinics in the UK is not enough and made it my mission to work out how I could change that. As fate would have it, some funding became available in my area so I started researching what would be needed and had conversations with the right people on how I could make it a reality. After a couple of attempts of funding applications, I am over the moon that we are going to start a trauma-informed cervical screening service from February – May with staff that have had specific trauma-informed training.
I hope that we can show how needed this service is and apply for future funding to keep it going but on a personal level, it has been reassuring to see the level of support our teams and partners have towards supporting trauma-survivors, and I hope that I can continue to raise awareness and push for trauma-informed care to be a standard across all settings.
I hope that reading my story gives survivors some hope that whilst healing is tough and there will still be some difficult days, progress and happiness is possible and as a friend once told me – one day the good bits will add up, and the bad bits won’t seem so big anymore.
Always remember, it wasn’t your fault and you are powerful.”
Mary,
Trauma Ambassador