Are you troubled by someone’s drinking? This is the question asked by Al-Anon, along with the invitation to get support from one of their Family Groups, if the answer is affirmative.
It is estimated that at least five other people are affected by every one person’s alcoholism. I was very kindly invited to attend one of the Al-Anon Family Essex groups earlier this year and was unsure what to expect. What I found was a wide-ranging group of people in respect of age, gender and background, all of whom had come together because someone significant in their lives has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. This could be a parent, sibling, child, friend or colleague.
Attendance at the Family Groups is free, and you are welcome to join if you are currently supporting someone with alcohol issues or have done in the past. Al-Anon could be for you if:
- You regularly feel hurt, embarrassed or distressed by the drinker’s behaviour.
- You dread holidays and special occasions because you are worried that someone’s drinking will ruin them.
- You find yourself covering up for the actions of a drinker.
- You often prefer to stay away from home rather than spend time with the drinker.
- You discourage friends and other family members from visiting because of the drinker’s behaviour.
- You are ‘walking on eggshells’ because you fear you might set off a drinking bout or angry outburst.
- You have considered calling the Police because of a drinker’s behaviour.
- You feel everything would be OK if the alcoholic stopped drinking.
- Your life is disrupted by someone’s drinking.
Free from judgment and expectations, attendees could speak as much or as little as they felt comfortable with, secure in the knowledge that the information shared in the room was confidential and that everyone present could relate to, and understand, their journey, to at least some degree.
Whilst these groups do not offer counselling or therapy, they do provide an invaluable opportunity to connect with others who are affected by a loved one’s drinking, and to feel a sense of peer support and community. Caring for someone that has an issue with alcohol can be extremely challenging and often lonely and isolating, which Al-Anon is working to mitigate.
Al-Anon does not offer advice on how you can help the drinker to change their behaviour; the focus is on the person who is affected by their drinking, and helping them to find empathy, understanding, support and even hope for the future. By providing a sense of community and facilitating strength and growth throughout the meetings, the aim is that attendees will find the solutions to some of their problems, and be able to implement them themselves.
I was honoured to hear the stories and experiences of people in the group I attended. They felt at ease to express their frustrations, setbacks and worries along with their hopes, humour and love for the person with the drinking problem in a safe environment. No judgments were made and there was a real sense of warmth and unity in the room, which can only be a positive when dealing with such a challenging situation. It was clear that attendees looked forward to the weekly meetings and had formed respectful, supportive relations with each other.
Still unsure? If the effects of someone’s drinking are affecting you then you can call the confidential helpline on 0800 0086 811 10am to 10pm, 365 days of the year. Details of your local Al-Anon group can be found here.
If you would like to access support around any of the issues mentioned in this blog, or to share your own lived experience, give the Healthwatch Essex Information & Guidance Service a call on 0300 500 1895, email [email protected] or text/WhatsApp on 07712 395398.
Sharon Westfield de Cortez, Information & Guidance Manager